Last week, I told you that everything in my life was up in the air. Sounding positive, I was actually beyond scared but I knew that if my world crumbled, eventually everything would piece back together. Deep down, I knew that my world couldn't come crashing down for that had already happened once. Yet, not being so young and naive, I knew that I could have lost everything for who truly knows where life is going to take you. Luckily and unexpectedly my life started a new path. Happy and confused, I was very exited to start this new turn in my life.
But you know me, I can only be happy for so long. Friday afternoon rolled around and I began over analyzing everything. I thought back on the last four days and turned all the positives into negatives. For my new path now seemed overwhelming. I started to feel lost and doubted my purpose in life.
This new anxiety led me to a Chinese restaurant on Saturday afternoon. Feeling disappointed and frustrated, I tried to enjoy living in the moment. I was not successful. Then my fortune cookie came. Usually either getting the same fortune or a cliche proverb, I wasn't expecting anything. Turns out I was wrong.
"Friendship is love with understanding". I couldn't help but smile and feel as if this was a sign. A sign saying that my life is turning out exactly how it should be. A sign indicating that my week was in fact positive. A sign from you Michael, saying that you are with me even if I don't always feel you.
Before you died, I did not believe in signs or fate for that matter. I couldn't see the point in finding little pleasures in everyday simple objects or things. In fact, deep down, I would judge those who did, thinking that they were silly. Since you have died my perception has changed. I am a firm believer in fate thus picking up on hints and signs that surround me. Have they always been there? Are my eyes just open now? Is it your spirits way of letting me know that you're with me? Whatever it is, every now and then, a sign slaps me in the face and I can't help but think of you and the life we shared together.
No fears and limitless, MHF
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