While I admit that my band-aid can stay on for several months, in the blink of an eye and with no warning at all, my band-aid falls off. Leaving me with no sense of security or protection, my wound becomes infected with thoughts of you, Michael.
Going back to that fateful day, my thoughts and heart become solely focused on you and the life that we could have lived together. For if you didn't die, where would we be today? Where would we live? Where would we work? Who would we be as people? How would my life be different if you hadn't died? I could sit here and fantasize but I will never know. No one will ever know.
And in my weakest of moments, when my wound is squeezed tight with the emotions of losing you, I can't help but succumb to you. Dragged into some very dark thoughts, it's then when I don't think life is worth living. I know, Michael. I know that you would want me to live my life for the both of us, but some days I just can't. Do you know what it's like to lose your other half? Your soul mate? No, no you don't. And you never will.
While you're at peace, I'm struggling to be happy. I'm struggling to keep my heart from breaking into a thousand tiny pieces. I'm struggling not to break down and cry. I'm struggling to not miss you every second of every day. I'm struggling to live life for you. I struggle with all aspects of life. And I know that my struggles will never end ....
And just when I think that I can't handle anymore, my band-aid appears and I'm momentarily saved.
So while people often think that time heals all wounds, they are mistaken. Time doesn't heal all wounds. Time just provides a band-aid, nothing more.
No fears and limitless, MHF.
No fears and limitless, MHF.
