Everything happens for a Reason (mostly)

I am learning what it is like to go with the flow. This has been a 23 year long process and, Michael, one of the lessons I have learned from your death. 

I honestly never thought I would say those words, for no lessons should have been learned from your death because you shouldn't be dead. You should still be alive; however, it happened. My worst nightmare came true, three times. For you not only died before me but I watched you die and when I was in the water, almost dead myself, I made the wrong choice. How stupid was I? 

People often tell me that we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. All of my friends from that fateful day believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that almost everything happens for a reason. What was the reason that you died and not me? What was the reason the sun shined and the rain stopped for those two hours? What was the reason that you died and no one else? What was the reason that anyone had to die? 

There was no reason.

But since your death, I have learned that there is very little that I can control. Up until recently, I still tried to pretend that I could control life...I am now giving into this whole idea of going with the flow. For in this mindset, the notion of "everything happens for a reason" is the basis. 

I must admit that it is exciting to actually live in the moment as appose to constantly thinking about the future. I feel as if for the first time in my life, I am in the here and now. I am not even scared for what the future holds, I am no longer fearful just curious, excited, and ready for the journey called life. 

No fears and limitless, MHF