despite my desire and need to. It has been just a few days past the two year anniversary of your death. I do not view it as you leaving me. I view it as me being selfish.
Approaching this two year mark, I promised myself that the day after the 12th I would start to fully change into the person you would have wanted me to become...I am changing into the person that I want to be.
Your death left me with a new perspective on life
and love. Some say that something major has to happen in order to open others eyes and push them toward their dreams. You knew that I have always wanted love. You knew that my dream job was (is) to become a wife and stay-at-home mom. When you died, I knew that I had to stop playing around and start to look for my husband. I knew that I needed to find that perfect love.
But I have been avoiding something- you. I have talked about you only ten times. That is changing. For in order for me to become the best person, the best wife, the best mother...I have to talk about you and how much my life is not the same since you left this earth. This thought, scaring me up until this point, is now giving me courage. I know that I can create a new normal with you living through me. The love that you had for me will never die, just like my love won't. You provided me with protection.
And, just like you were the bravest of the two of us, I am becoming more and more brave. Your daring and determined nature was restored in me. I can now say that I will
thank you for this wonderful gift.
