A whole half year has gone by but now I am finally ready to break my silence. The promise I made to you did not die, for each and every day I have thought more and more about you. Every day I find a little piece of myself and in essence I find you. I have learned that you are still so much apart of me. Deep down I always know you will be...once a twin always a twin, right?!
But that connection, the one that I crave, also haunts me. For my life is burdened by sadness. I have come to terms with that fact. I can never be happy without drifting back to that fateful day when I truly was my happiest. I can never be happy because you will never be at my side, a thought and fact that I feel as if I will never understand or accept.
Every day is a battle filled with mixed emotions and regret. For I am still not the person you would have wanted me to become. I have failed you but know that every second is a little victory for it means that I have survived one second longer than I anticipated. Still as lost as ever but always and faithfully yours...
No fears and limitless, MHF
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