The World is a Beautiful Place

In the next four days, my life will drastically change. Everything that I have worked for since you died is being put to the test. How did I let myself do this? Most importantly, why did I do this to myself?

In the next four days, I could be heartbroken all over again. This time with no purpose or reason to pick up the remaining pieces.

In the next four days, I may not have a job anymore. Do I have another one lined up? No. Am I scared? Yes but maybe not as scared as I should be.

In the next four days, I will be thinking about you constantly. What if you were here to help me pick up the pieces? Would my fall seem as hard if you were still by my side?

In the next four days, my world could come crashing down. Why do I always crave you when things go wrong?
...Because the last time my world came crashing down it was because you died. You died, leaving me here, and I somehow survived. But for what purpose? To live out both of our dreams? Quiet honestly, my dream is to always be by your side. So in fact, I have failed.

But you see, I cannot be negative for long. For when I get into my dark place, I picture your smile and everything makes a little more sense. I still miss you with all my heart and soul but your smile, in essence my smile, gives me goosebumps and I know that you are still by my side.

Losing you will be the hardest thing I will ever have to do. You are the love of my life yet with this deep of love also comes pain, making room for even more love in the end. My purpose is to love this beautiful world and life. You taught me that...

In the next four days, my life may not be as I pictured it but, Michael, I carry you into the future and know that eventually everything will be okay.

No fears and limitless, MHF