Michael, on the day you died, in those fourteen hours before, I never felt more alive, more curious about life, more spontaneous, more you. The wonder and feelings I so desperately wanted to feel came to me in copious amounts, washing away all my insecurities. You believed in me thus making me believe in myself- something that I had been looking for through all those years of running on eggshells. In that day, I never felt more complete.
Than you died, lathering me up with more troubles than I knew were possible. Depriving me of everything that I wanted and deserved to feel, leaving me lost, empty, and knowing nothing.
Having to fend for myself, for the memory of you, I am unsure if this belief in myself will resurface. If it does, I am in for a long road ahead of me. A road that I need to travel alone, a road that you would have wanted me to travel, a road that will end in my dreams coming true.
Until then...
No fears and limitless, MHF
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