Forever Changed

We were at our childhood home. A mix of family, high school friends, and current co-workers were gathered. A friend came to me. She said that she needed my help burying something. We went out to the back yard. I remember that the ground was so soggy. Soft and soggy. My gut told me that something wasn't right, something was off about that grass. I ignored it.

I started digging in the dirt. It was cold, hard, and sticky. All of a sudden, it hit me. I was sitting in a pile of quicksand. Struggling at first as only my ankles were stuck, I quickly became engulfed within the sand. Screaming for help while my friend went for my rescue, I knew that this might not end well. Right before you came rushing out Michael, my chest grew heavy. The quicksand was quick with its' murderous attempt. Right as I was giving up hope, you came rushing towards me. I reached out to you and pushed as you pulled and tried to release me from the quicksands hold. Our first attempt failed. Then I decided to give up. As you pulled me toward safety, I just laid there, limp as a leaf. It worked. For this time, you saved me from the quicksand.

In my nightmares, it is usually I who saves you Michael. And it is within those nightmares where I fail each and every time. My nights are then consumed with the painful loss all over again. I wake up and feel the heavy burden of living life without you, my soul mate.

In this nightmare, I wasn't scared. In fact, I wouldn't even classify it as a nightmare. I was relatively calm throughout the entire dream. It was only when I saw your face where hope filled me. But that feeling quickly faded. For once I was rescued, I woke up and realized that you in fact hadn't saved me. I hadn't saved you. You are still gone and I am still here.

No Fears and limitless, MHF