Goodbye In My Eyes

Recently, I have had to say goodbye. While I had not known this person for a long time, our connection was rare and deep. As my hour long car ride was filled with tears running down my check, it was in that moment that I knew. I knew that if we had had our goodbye, I wouldn't have survived.

For years, all I have wanted was one simple goodbye. But we both know that our goodbye would not have been simple. With our history, our connection, our love, there has never been anything simple about us. And while I have felt robbed by you, by our lack of goodbye, I have come to realize that maybe it was a blessing in disguise.

For if I had been granted my wish, I would have been greedy and wanted more. For if I had been granted our goodbye, I would not have known what to say. For if we had said goodbye, the silence remaining between us would have killed me even more than your sudden vanishing act.

These past few years have been plagued with this notion as those lonesome, depressed nights were almost too intense to bear. And it is through my wondering, wandering, and that hour long car ride filled with sad love songs that I am filled with hope. With the hope that I have been spared from another hardship that I would have had to overcome. While there will always be times of heartache, pain, and wishing, our lack of goodbye has, in fact, saved me.

It is on this cold Florida night, with a heavy heart and goodbye in my eyes, that I bid you adieu. Goodbye my soul mate...

No fears and limitless, MHF